Justin Randall Timberlake !!!!

I hope everyone saw my husband last night at the grammys, because he did AWWWEESSOMMMEEE !!! The best was "Dead&Gone" with T.I. that was pretty bommmbb !! The one with Al Green was reallllyyy good too !! I justt looveee himm soo much cause he's soo awesomee ! gheezh ! lol =)

a reminder = )

Happy moments, praise God.
Difficult moments, seek God.
Quiet moments, worship God.
Painful moments, trust God.
Every moment, thank God.

"Each and every day I will seek your face
My soul is crying out
For more, I want more of You
I won't be satisfied nor content of where I am
So I will apprehend til I'm captured by what I'm after

And I will go
From faith to faith
From glory to glory
And I'll forever be chasing after you
I'll be chasing after you

I will press towards the mark
For the prize, and I won't faint
There's one thing I desire and that's what I'm going for
I can't continue life, day by day, growing dry
I need to be with you (Jesus) and I'll seek where you are

And I will go
From faith to faith
From glory to glory
And I'll forever be chasing after you
I'll be chasing after you
And I will go
From faith to faith
From glory to glory
And I'll forever be chasing after you
I'll be chasing after you"

2oo9.

ohh how i can't wait for 2oo9 to bring its greatness !!

i really and truly feel that i am maturing in my relationship with the Lord. You don't understand its just a sigh of relief to be on the right side of things for once and truly mean it. Now don't get me wrong i've never been the one to smoke, drink, and have sex, but i still wasnt living and acting the way the Lord would want me too.

I finally feel like there isnt a decision to debate this is about my purpose with the Lord. I cant even explain the mistakes i've made and felt absolutely awful about it and still did it because i felt like who cares, who do i have to prove myself to ? w r o n g !

I've always had great examples in front of me, prefect ? no ! just a w e s o m e ! i have two very special best friends that i have always seen put there utmost trust in God, even with all the things that went wrong or even just petty drama in their life they always knew where to turn and i envyed the fact that there decision was never second guessed HE was the answer, the advisor, the bottomline period and there no way around it !

I wondered why i couldnt have the relationship and i was so busy wondering why my relationship with him couldnt be like Brit's or Dana's, and not realizing it started with me HIS relationship with me personally was going to be different than anyone elses, my problems, issues, hardships were different than everybody elses so how can our relationship possibly be the same as others.

I finally realize, because its never too late to look back over your life and see what he has really done for you and finally just say a simple thank you ! because thats all HE wants HE just wants to know that you acknowledge HIM some how or some way !! and i think to myself just how grateful i am and i cant believe that they're could be someone soo loving so caring, sooo forgiving, cause i have said sorry so many times and turned around and made the same mistake and yet and still HE was by my side aiding in my next struggle.


i love you Lord sooooo much !! and i am grateful to have you in my life, by my side, as a friend, a family member everything ! thank you and i cant wait for the success and greatness that awaits me in 2oo9. =)

l i f e.

Have you ever heard someone say that God passes messages through someone else, not to necessarily tell you, but they something you need to hear and at the right time that you need to hear it ??

Well it happened to me last night, my best friend was on the phone with one of her friends and because of a situation that made her mad, it affected how she treated other people on that day, no matter if they did absolutely nothing she was still mad at everyone. The point is he basically told her that isn't right and all this other stuff...

How this relates to me ?? I have this thing that when one person makes me uspset even if its over the pettiest thing in life, I will automatically be upset and have an attitude at anybody that crosses my path that day. And I really do affect people, like for instance if I get mad at school and talk to my mom and have an attitude, it will affect her day. I'm kind of rambling because I cant get my thoughts right now, but it has been on my mind all day and i really and truley am working on that "its okay to have a grudge towards the world, because I'm mad at a situation" its ridiculous, and I hope anybody that reads will change that about themselves also if it is an issue.

Now Im not saying you cant be mad, but be mad at that second and let it go, move on because that is no way to live, and its far to much energy being exerted than just praying about it and letting it be. If its letting that person go out of your life than do it, if its an issue that needs to talked about to solve than do it. But dont let anger get the best of you, because the next time you're mad at someone you love with no apparent reason, you should think about the possiblity that you may never get to see them again.....

p a t i e n c e. Love is p a t i e n t.

Troubling Times...

Why am I posting this for the world to see I have no idea. Well I do know I am the last person that wants to talk about the problems in ones life, so I guess this is somewhat an indirect way of talking about my problems without letting myself seem too vulnerable.

uuuummm..where do i begin ? I've been really going through it, like challenges and obstacles, praying until my thoughts get sore, just wanting everything to be right and "fixed". I can't handle it, under the pressure, under the stress. My insides hurt like I want to explode, I have a hard time sleeping, and my heart fills with worry. I want to cry like for a week straight, just sit and cryyyyy, like a little baby.

I despise the fact that I assume the responsiblity of being the strong one, or the one that has to make everyone laugh, or act like nothing just happened so we can all move past it. When things happen I dont express it , I move on and look past it.

I'm usually not the one going through this crap this happens to other people not me, why me ?
I try to put situations as such in a religious aspect, saying the devil is taunting me, trying to keep me down. God will make a way, i know, just be patient and it'll get better sooner than i expect. I want to believe it....i w a n t to b e l i e v e it !!!

You know what its much harder to fight back tears and emotion then it is to just let it out. Imagine how much energy Im putting in this rough exterior I display, wanting to be the tough friend, sister, daughter...everything !! i literally want to S C R E A M !! uugghhhhh......this isnt supposed to happen to me. Im the one with the good life ??? right.....

these words are my diary screaming out loud.....

God you're enough, if it never gets better than this right now
YOU'RE ALL I NEED !!!

In and Out

I figured since I was completely venting the other day I should inform you on how my first day went on Wednesday.

Well I arrived at school pretty early for my 8:30 class, which was good because I had alot of time to find where it was at. My classes are all cool, my teachers are pretty cool so far and I am prepared to work hard this semester and get good grades. I tried to avoid so many of the people I knew and the one person I really wanted to see (my bestfriend) was no where in sight<---suckka lol !

I saw sooo many freaking people from my high school and was kinda happy that they even went to college, that was awesome ! When I got there I went to my classes and when it was over I was up and out of there, well I have school tomorrow and that should be okay alot people don't really have classes on friday so it'll be fine !! It's not the point that I am anti-social because I'm not it's just I avoid situations that would make me completely annoyed and irritated at certain people for their actions.

So T I R E D !

After 9th grade the thrill of going back to school went out the window and I totally and completely blaim it on the ridiculous mess for a high school that i attended. Upon starting college i actually was pretty excited just to actually be academically challenged, meet m a t u r e people, and one step closer to my dream.

The problem came with the confusion of attending which college ? and guess what I happened to pick thee dumbest college in the woorllld ! i really and truley feel this way. CSUDH feels more dumb than Inglewood High School, btw there aren't much places dumber than IHS.

The people there are ridiculously stuck in this era of stupidity, I am completely irritated with the sight of the place. The people there seem to be stuck ! there are some people I know that have recently graduated and are still there and i do not understand it and on top of that are still living in the college dorms. Now I am not taking personal jabs at these people I was just told that after graduating college you m o v e on to attend grad school or get a decent job or no ? I am just confused.

The point is I am unhappy, UNHAPPY, at that stupid piece of a institute that had the nerve to call themselves a college. Why I am angry I'll tell you, the girls there don't take pride in their appearance or even have respect for themselves, the adults there are oolldd people that seem to be stuck and have no way out, and the classes are not at all academically challenging I can count on one hand the amount of teachers there that should even have then intention to say that they are professors !

I made one good decision there and moved the heck up out of housing, and don't let me get started on that dreadful experience. It helps a whole deal of lot because I get to go and come and only truley have to see that dump when needed and not forcefully everyday.

Don't worry about me because I have a master plan transfering to USC after this stupid year is over. My dream school the place where I should've went in the first place.....a n y w a y I am just further motivated to do the right things there year and get out of there with a clean slate. School starts wednesday for me b l a h ! nootttt looking forward to it at all, maybe i'll just go to my classes and hurry and get out of there avoiding contact with human life...sounds like a plan !!

REFRAIN FROM COMMENTS.